Elderly Cadet~

My husband is 6 feet 3 inches tall. Most Ticos are short, which is why we bought a certain American Standard toilet. It is called The Elderly Cadet and is a couple inches taller than your average toilet.

I was appalled by the name and almost refused to buy it. I feel about it the way I feel about certain candy bars I refuse to buy because of their names. I don’t want to say to the store clerk, for example: “I’d like a Big Daddy, please.” I just can’t bring myself to do it. And these days it seems a person might get into bit of trouble, depending on the inclinations of the clerk.

In my youth I stuck to Hershey chocolate bars or Hershey with almonds or Fire Stix (those lovely hot cinnamon hard candies with plastic wrap that invariably failed to come off, allowing the purchaser to eat that too). When feeling adventurous I’d have a Mounds or an Almond Joy, (because sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t). I realize that my world was made all that much smaller by not trying the others but I maintained my dignity.

Now I find myself doing my daily business on something called The Elderly Cadet.

Let us reflect upon the meaning here for a moment, (as I have done while sitting on this throne of ours). The word cadet means, according to my American Oxford: 1) a young trainee in the armed services or police force, or 2) archaic. A younger son or daughter.

We all know what elderly means and some of us are becoming uncomfortably familiar with not only its definition but how it feels on a cellular level.

So here is my question: what exactly is an elderly cadet? Does this imply that we are getting a bit old to call ourselves cadets any longer, or–– what I think it means–– that we are cadets in the ever-growing army of ancients. Recruits, if you will. Not exactly old yet, but still not wanting to bend the knees quite that far to reach the seat.

However, cadet also stems from early 17th Century French and specifically from Gascon dialect capdet, a diminutive based on Latin caput–– ‘head.’ The notion “little head” or “inferior head” gave rise to that of [younger, junior.]

So maybe this is simply humor from a toilet designer at American Standard, and we actually have a toilet called The Elderly Head. If so, the person who named it probably used to have a job naming candy bars. The ones I refused to buy!

There are a lot of them

Published by SC Morgan

I grew up in Oregon and learned not everything is black and white. Now I live in the jungles of Costa Rica where the shades of gray cover the full spectrum. I shoot my mouth off on my blog, social media sites, and sometimes I get published. You can find my blog here: https://scmorgancom.wordpress.com/

8 thoughts on “Elderly Cadet~

  1. Elderly Cadet? How does a person sell that with a straight face? Maybe if you’re 5’2″ like me, you get stuck with the Young General to ablute on. We are in trouble here in Aust. and New Zeland at the moment for selling Eskimo Bars. Evidently it is highly offensive to Canadians who say the term Eskimo was removed long ago in favour of Innuit. No-one told New Zealand.”May I have five or sux Innuit Bars ples ” may soon be heard in the South Island.Sorry Innuit! Embarassing for all concerned.

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  2. Hi Pam– We ate Eskimo Pies when I was a kid. They were great! And, frankly, I think there is far too much Political Correctness in the world today. I ask you, is Intuit Pie any better? We in the USA still have to endure the drums for the baseball teams, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians. I think an Eskimo Pie is not so bad. There are far worse names for sure.

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  3. Hi Sarah!I think it’s the word “Elderly” which sounds most awkward to me … When the point of the toilet is to be bigger/taller, not necessarily made for tired old botties. A friend of mine with rheumatoid arthritis had a special “throne” which required no bending or lowering. I think the word might be perching. It was most peculiar.So the eskimoes are truly innuit now … down to their Pies? The other day a story ran on Yahoo.UK concerning the pop group “Pet Shop Boys” who have been asked by animal enthusiasts to change their name to “Animal Rescue Shelter Boys”. Needless to say, the PSB thought not bloody likely.One thing that always makes me cringe a bit is reading or hearing headlines like “Black Taxi Driver Jailed for Life” and “Black Taxi Driver Attacked by Thugs” … These are not taxi drivers that are dark of skin (necessarily) … but those cabs in London, the big … well … Black Taxis … So as not to confuse them with the other not-black taxis down there. Recently a freelance journalist on our early evening chat show, “The One Show” on the Beeb was fired. Carol Thatcher (yes, daughter of Maggie) used the word “golliwog” OFF CAMERA and OFF SET to describe the wild look of a dark-skinned tennis player. Suddenly golliwogs became “things you must not have” (I had one as a child). Turned out the Prince of Wales’s shops sold the darn things. So much for sticks and stones … (but words will never hurt me) From suddenly grey Narnia (after a week of glorious sunshine) …Cheers!Ross

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  4. HA! The Animal Rescue Shelter Boys, indeed. It gives Gimme Shelter a whole other meaning, doesn’t it? And what is it about those Thatcher kids, anyway? Wasn’t Sir Mark caught trying to overthrow Equatorial New Guinea not too long ago? As I recall the plot was something out of a John le Carré or Frederick Forsyth novel. But, didn’t he get off while the others are still rotting away in some prison? I can’t remember. I had to look up Golliwog. I believe we used to call those Aunt Jemima dolls and that sure as hell is not a name you can use any more. And I cringe when I hear headlines like the ones you mentioned. Also, whoever saw a headline reading: Heterosexual woman arrested at protest? All this labeling. When I lived in Alaska there were constant tiffs among the native tribes. All of their names seemed to translate into: The Chosen. Their names for the other tribes translated roughly into: Scumbags. We had The Inuits, The Yupiks (who hated the Inuits), The Inupiat, and The Athabascans. I’m sure there were others, but those are the ones I remember. I actually don’t remember any of them calling themselves “Eskimos.”Okay, enough ranting. I’m off to watch the news. that will give me more ammunition for more ranting… later.

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  5. I read this a couple of days ago and then had to go look in my records. When the cadet first came out we purchased a “Right Height” CADET.Apparently none of us knew who the ‘right height’ was for, so it had to be renamed. I’ll check out the ‘models’ we can purchase now.

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  6. Apart from all the other grinnable comments you make . . . I couldn’t help think of the wisdom at getting a taller toilet for a tall man . . . less chance for the drippage factor.

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  7. Meant to say . . . I now forget the three oils in the mix I blogged about, but one was patchouli, which I love. Seems that all the scents I love include patchouli.

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  8. Pat and Connie- I think the Cadet in the USA is called something different… Ancient Cadet? ;-)Ruth- Patchouli, eh? You old hippie, you. And, yes, the dribble factor is certainly one to consider.

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